New Here? Want to get every post I put out? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get each post delivered right into your browser or email. Learn more about using RSS. Thanks for visiting!
Would you rather? Have all the questions? Or, have all the answers? Sounds witty and profound doesn’t it?
It’s really not. It’s actually even a fallacy. A fallacy of choices, aka false dilemma. You may have read or heard it called a false dichotomy. In layman’s terms?… the either-or fallacy.
Would you rather? Have all the questions? Or, have all the answers?
What’s that you say? Well, when I pose the question this way, it only presents two options. So, while you’re trying to figure out which one I want you to say (possibly so you can say the opposite and present your argument that way,) I’m chuckling to myself that you have allowed me to box you in.
Chuckling, because you should recognize this tactic as soon as it leaves my mouth. Even if you don’t know all of the technical terms, you should feel it as something that limits you, or corrals you.
On the other hand, all people desire this some of the time. Even I want this, sometimes. When I talk to an expert, I want them to narrow the choices down for me and based on the information they have gathered, give me what they feel are the best two choices, then hand it off to me to decide. I don’t want a million options. Just give me two.
And, the person you’re persuading does, also. So, do your homework, then do it for your customer, then give them two choices.
Don’t worry, if they want more, they’ll indicate this to you, some how. A look, a sound, a movement, or a blatant question of “what else are my options.” Then, don’t do like some people and give a bold extreme option to move away from and make the first two look good in comparison, give them what you now think they would need, want or would like to hear.
Here’s an interesting side note. Doing a Compfight.com search of “middle ground” for Flickr.com photos to use for this post results in almost only pictures of military maneuvers. Hmmmm…
________________________________________
You’re either part of the solution or part of the problem. -Eldridge Cleaver
Over time it’s going to be important for nations to know they will be held accountable for inactivity,” he said. “You’re either with us or against us in the fight against terror. -George W. Bush
OK, OK, one from both sides of the fence, just to be “fair.”
The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who in time of moral crisis preserve their neutrality. -John F. Kennedy
Single channel communication can sink your ship, if you don’t know how to send clear signals. Don’t Let Your Communication Skills Sink Your Ship by Tom Vander Well reminded me of this lesson. Thanks.
Here’s the actual lesson.
Just like when someone is blind, the other senses pitch in to help when communication is limited to certain channels, e.g. lack of visual senses leans on auditory senses. In the process, they become more developed and more sensitive. So, it’s not just more overtime they’re putting in.
Similarly, when you are persuading on the phone, the other person’s auditory senses heighten and amplify your auditory messages.
So, all the submodalities of sound, including your voice, volume, intonation, pitch, pace, speed, rhythm, resonance and alliteration, amongst many other qualities, take on whole new meaning.
The length of your sentences. The timing of your breaths. The number of words.
All of these qualities and much much more are taken into account when your brain is searching for meaning and coming up with what ever is there and putting it all together in a formula outside of but including the actual words you’re using to create the meaning you are attempting to create so that the number of messages being sent multiply by quatum leaps which is why it’s even more important to have your purpose in mind clear as a bell before you even open your mouth and say, “This makes sense on some level.”
So, the next time someone like Jimi Hendrix in a Purple Haze says, “Excuse me while I kiss the sky,” you get it.
La Résistance happens.While it’s true that all people are different, there are similarities. We all think in a finite number of ways and thus speak in a finite number of patterns. We just don’t know how many. But, there are quite a few that we do know. But, you may not know all of the known patterns. Join the club.
If you find you are not getting your message through to your audience, celebrate! This is where the opportunity is.
Give me a list of of messages where you hear your audience resisting. And I’ll show you a finite list of patterns threaded through them. e.g. courtesy of Lisa Braithwaite’s Hitting a brick wall with resistant clients.
“We have to brand every slide with our logo, in case a client or someone from another company uses one of our slides out of context.”
“We have to brand every slide with our logo because the audience doesn’t know our company very well.”
“We have to do slides full of text and bullets because our clients don’t take our presentations seriously without it.”
“We have to do slides full of text and bullets because we have no time to do a report as well as slides.” (To which I reply, “Waah waah waah. Nobody has time. That’s not an excuse.”)
“We have to give our slides as handouts, because the conference requires it.”
“We have to make our slides fit this format because we give it to another department afterward who won’t understand if we change it.”
OK, now, having read through and found the common thread, you’ll notice an emerging pattern. 1. 6 of the 6 have to do with something causing another something to happen. 2. 6 of 6 have to do with a locus of controloutside of themselves. 3. 5 of the 6 have to do with negative consequences of doing PowerPoint properly (applies equally to skills other than PowerPoint)
It’s easy to say, “all objections involve these three objections.” But they don’t.
It’s easy to say, “How does just knowing this help me?” It doesn’t - and notice what I’m doing here. I’m inoculating. I have done this before and it works. If you know what the objections are, then inoculate them. If you’re fortunate enough to speak to their group before speaking to them individually, weave the inoculations throughout your speech.
Inoculating is like sending a costume party invite. There’s a lot of pressure to be there with them and do something different, even if you’re not accustomed to it.
In the case of the PowerPoint, bring these objections up, but never without a corresponding rebuttal ( in story whenever possible) focused around causing things to happen, proactively, that take advantage of known best practices that get them the end result faster and easier. And, be sure to include the negative consequences of continuing to not do PowerPoint, properly.
When something happens never, then does, I usually perk up and notice. Only-child syndrome is one of those. However, I’m not talking about it only in the context of an only-child, but we’ll start there.
Ever talk to someone who only has one child about how that child relates to other children?
One set of parents will say, “Little Johnny is an only-child, so, of course, he is going to engage with other children whenever he gets around them.”
Another set of parents will say, “Little Jenny is an only-child, so, of course, she is going to be shy around other children whenever she gets around them.”
Now, this is paraphrasing and simplifying and unfairly categorizing, of course, but that’s an important step in the process of pattern recognition and reverse engineering.
This only-child syndrome that I’m talking about doesn’t just happen with only-child parents, of course. It happens with all kinds of on/off patterns (as opposed to rheostatic-types where the condition is a gradation of the extremities.)
You might recognize this having occurred when someone talks about poker tells, birth order or even someone’s upbringing and the type of person they are. e.g. “Miles grew up with a silver spoon, so, of course, he’s going to demand a higher standard of living for himself.” VS. ”Miles grew up with a silver spoon, so, of course, he’s not going to know how to develop higher standard of living for himself.”
How about sports? “Amy has always been active, so, of course, she’s going to continue the habit when she’s older.” VS. “Amy has always been active, so, of course, she’s going to burn out on the habit when she’s older.”
And on and on.
The overall point being, notice how people organize their experience, give reasons for things, and influence behavior using it.
And, of course, compare it to what’s not there. Meaning, notice what could have been said and wasn’t. This is where you develop pattern recognition. Because there is something driving the decision, and in that context, it can help predict future decisions and behavior.
Most of us recognize these things, naturally, but of course, there are always those who don’t.
As far as which is controlling which, does the pattern control the behavior, or are there really reasons for things, well, that’s one for the chicken and the egg to decide.
A close friend of mine was one of the top wine sellers for the Olive Garden Restaurants. One day, I asked him how he did it.
Not surprisingly, he said people would ask him, “what would be a good wine for this meal?” He didn’t go off on a big rant to try to make himself the expert with all the answers, but he did have some suggestions.
You know what he told them? He’d start off by saying, “you know what makes a good wine?”
“No. What?” they would say.
“If you like it.”
Obviously, that wasn’t the specific suggestion they were looking for, but he found that that wasn’t the first thing they needed to hear.
Customers, he found, need to be open to suggestion, first.
Though Seth Godin doesn’t come out and say it, under promise and over deliver is the understanding he wants you to conclude. It’s a critical skill. For anyone.
He’s saying the underpromise part is tricky ’cause you risk not getting attention or not being believable, even worse. This is where experience and skill come in.
You have to track responses to your messages and then adjust accordingly until you can get it right. There’s just no shortcut to perfecting this other than trial and error and getting your knuckles bloody along the way.
The trap for most is the short-term gain of getting attention by pushing the limit on the over promise side. Most people I’ve seen riding this edge sell tons, but spend tons of time after the sale explaining and making excuses. Don’t be that guy. They live by the mantra, “it’s easier to beg forgiveness, then ask for permission.” Permission doesn’t fit perfectly, but it works for them.
One way that’s better is to challenge yourself to see how much fluff you can leave out and still get your foot in the door. Then, sell like hell what you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, your company can deliver.
When it’s time to deliver, make sure you do. Then, find ways to exceed their expectations so they perceive it as exceeding their expectations. The bar on this is much easier to adjust and much easier to pole vault over.
_________________________________________
Formula for success: under promise and over deliver. -Tom Peters #contrast
Test fast, fail fast, adjust fast. -Tom Peters #epistrophe #antistrophe #epiphora (that was #rhyme) (here’s #alliteration) #epistrophe #epiphora #antistrophe
The first step in exceeding your customer’s expectations is to know those expectations. -Roy H. Williams
Welcome to Smart Start À La Carte. This is your à la carte path to linguistic excellence. Each edition includes an impressive array of ways to make an impression. Some will be simple specific spoon-fed examples that you can slide into your daily dialog. Some will be a description or definition of a pattern, concept or category of persuasive communication with an example, of course.
“Now” | Now what better way to create urgency linguistically. Push yourself to build “now” into your language more often by peppering your every utterance with it.
e.g. “Now, what was I saying.” “Now when are you going to start that project?” “Bob wants us to start that project. Now is as good a time as ever.” ”I want it now, now, now!”
.
Latin Logical Phrase | argumentum a fortiori: I use it a lot in my writing. Search my posts (use this link) and you’ll find many examples. Read my posts and you’ll learn them in context. Hey, if my Mom reads them and likes them, so will you.
FigaroSpeech.com describes this better than anyone. “Remember the commercial for Life Cereal, the one where the brothers experiment on picky little Mikey? If Mikey liked it, the boys figured, anyone would. That’s an argument a fortiori: If something less likely is true, then something more likely will probably be true as well.”
e.g. “…Al and Tipper Gore were separating — the “if they can’t make it, who can” ruminations…” If that’s a true statement, we’re all in trouble!
If you can bridge thought from skid steers to corporate work, then you can quickly bridge to however you demonstrate value.
Skid steers, BTW, allow the operator to be up front to monitor the action and have the work done from the back end power unit using the mechanics of it all. Alan Weiss has done this with his ability to take on loads of work (crappy pun intended) in the field of consulting for customers that need him “where” they need him and not “when” they don’t.
Chris Brogan on being up front means to lead with what the customer wants to know. Simplify language. That’s a big part of it.
How can you be up front for your customers, while having the work be done by the power mechanism?
An example closer to Brogan’s than Weiss’ is keeping in mind the sales funnel. The key is to get people to the next step, not filter them out, needlessly. Make it easy for them by giving them what they want when they want it. But, no sooner.
Personally, I let rhetoric and persuasive language patterns do the heavy lifting for me. That way, all I have to do is create the content. Nothing sells itself.
I even find myself persuading myself to do things using patterns like the rhetorical figure anaphora. “Get there early and get online if you have to (in order to justify sitting there waiting)” is what I caught my self saying to myself this morning as I’m waiting to head out the door for an early morning coffee meeting.
___________________________________
Just because you’re upfront with someone doesn’t mean you’re an honest person; you might just be someone in the passenger seat. -Brian Celio #analogy #reframe #counterfactual
I want to state upfront, unequivocally and without doubt: I do not believe that any racial, ethnic or gender group has an advantage in sound judging. I do believe that every person has an equal opportunity to be a good and wise judge, regardless of their background or life experiences. -Sonia Sotomayor #apophasis
Again, this post inspired by Steve Roesler’s post Ten Ways You Can Be More Persuasive. 2. Mirroring – People respect, like, and are most easily influenced by people who they perceive to be similar to themselves (see Social Proof above). So one way to influence someone is to mirror them. Mirror their speech and their actions. If you verbalize back to someone something they have said and in the same words, you instantly become more influential. The same thing applies to posture and actions. If you want to influence Mike, then you need to act like Mike. If he is leaning back in his chair, then you would be wise to do the same.
Here’s my take on this:
When in Rome…? Ever heard of it? Not only that, but this concept of mirroring verbal and non-verbal aspects of others has really only been around since the ’70s. Mirroring body language, especially, has been popularized by proponents of NLP, neuro-lingustic programming. It’s now so mainstream -how mainstream is it, Jade? – it’s now so mainstream, salmon are spawning in it. That’s mainstream!
But, seriously, while mirroring and matching has been going on since the beginning of mankind, the thought of using it purposefully in interpersonal relationships and, in particular, persuasive communication, has been a somewhat more elusive application of social proof. But, what’s obvious is how this occurs in everyday interactions, whether or not it’s characters, us, are consciously away of it, or not.
Think about it, how many times can you think of, just recently alone, where you and a friend are having a conversation and mathcing each other in some way. Holding the same posture? Or, changing posture synchronously, like a dance? Exchanging the same descriptive words? Speaking at the same rate of speed? Exactly. Often, huh.
Can you think of a time, recently, where you purposely matched someone in order to take on their emotion? Now, that’s conscious use of mirroring.
But, this concept goes waaaaaayyyy beyond verbal and non-verbal communication. It’s application can be felt in nearly every area of communication. Whether it be advertising (customer criteria, keywords, words that sell,) sales (pacing,) marketing (aligning,) interdepartmental (global initiatives,) interpersonal (rapport,) job search (interviewing skills,) corporate communications (integrating best practices,) politics (with commonplaces,) you can be rest assured, someone is trying to match up with their audience in order to more powerfully persuade.
Again, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. Back in the day, barbaric as they were, this advice, no doubt, was much more than a suggestion.
__________________________________
If somebody thinks they’re a hedgehog, presumably you just give ‘em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves. -Douglas Adams #doseofreality #conduplicatio
The time will come when it will disgust you to look in the mirror. -Rose F. Kennedy #wrongjustwrongonalllevelswrong
That’s enough mirror quotes. Let’s go somewhere else.
I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be. -Douglas Adams #contrast
We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem. -Douglas Adams, again
In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground. -Douglas Adams, yet again #simpletruth
He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher…, or as his wife would have it, an idiot. -Douglas Adams #paraprosdokian
Why am I jumping around like this?
I refuse to answer that on the grounds that I don’t know the answer. -Douglas Adams #reformcliche
Or, refer back to the previous quote “I seldom end up…”
I love deadlines. I like the whoooshing sound they make as they fly by. -Douglas Adams #onomatopoeia
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. -Douglas Adams #justplainsilly
Couldn’t have said it better myself! Stick around, folks. I’ll be here all week.
Again, this post inspired by Steve Roesler’s post Ten Ways You Can Be More Persuasive. 2. Mirroring – People respect, like, and are most easily influenced by people who they perceive to be similar to themselves (see Social Proof above). So one way to influence someone is to mirror them. Mirror their speech and their actions. If you verbalize back to someone something they have said and in the same words, you instantly become more influential. The same thing applies to posture and actions. If you want to influence Mike, then you need to act like Mike. If he is leaning back in his chair, then you would be wise to do the same.
Here’s my take on this:
This is really so old hat, I can’t believe I’m actually even writing about it, but anything for my readers. If you haven’t learned this one by now, I don’t know how to respond. Virtually every sales, persuasion, and relationship expert out there of all kinds has touched on this, so I guess, now’s my turn.
I’ll start by telling you my favorite story about my experience with personal influence. And, then build on it.
Waaaaaaaayyyyy back in the day, I graduated high school. I moved out to San Diego, California. No, not for the military. I don’t know why everyone asks me if that’s the impetus, but it’s not. Anyway, that’s a story in and of itself.
Shortly after arriving in San Diego, I read Unlimited Power : The New Science Of Personal Achievement
by Anthony Robbins (link is an Amazon Affiliate link.) It was my second “self-help” book. He’s probably going to roll over in his grave when he reads “self-help” (not to mention he’s not dead! Far from it.) Anyway, I read the book, was awestruck, and immediately wanted to go out and test what I had been reading in it about mirroring body language and creating rapport. So I did.
Family Fitness Centers was still around back then. It’s since been bought by 24/7 Fitness. I applied for a job. At the time, I was built like a brick s***house, so I figured I was qualified to teach others. Plus, I had read Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding (Pelham Practical Sports)(link is an Amazon Affiliate link,) so I was definitely educated on the subject of fitness and health (read sarcasm here.)
I talked myself into an interview with then manager, Angela. Angela was the local proprietor’s daughter. Anyway, during the interview, I was going over-the-top mirroring and matching Angela’s body posture and movements. I really thought I was being so obvious that she was going to stop the interview and kick me out and not get the job. She’d cross her arms, I’d cross mine. I’d uncross mine, she’d uncross hers. She’d touch her nose, I’d touch mine ad infinitum, ad nauseam, add you get the picture. The “dance.”
As expected, I got the job. Jade Handy, fitness consultant. Or, whatever the job position was, officially.
I thought I had arrived. This stuff really works. Mirroring and matching, that is. Not to mention I was from Iowa and extremely good looking (read big-headed,) which does help. I was sold on this stuff. But wait, there’s more. Stick around (#dirimens copulatio - remember, this is a blog on rhetoric and persuasion.)
Weeks or months later, I don’t remember, Angela took me aside and told me she didn’t know exactly why she had hired me. No, she wasn’t about to fire me. Far from it. She went on to tell me that her mother, Ann, had told her to not interview me for the job. They weren’t hiring, and specifically to NOT hire me! My mouth dropped, inside as I was listening to her. I remember thinking, “wholly s***! This stuff really works!”
Now, everyone knows about this mirroring and matching thing. But it doesn’t stop it from happening. It’s a completely natural sign of people in rapport. And, mirroring isn’t the only path to rapport, sometimes a compliment gets just as much mileage. So, if you see me doing it, notice when you’re doing it, as well. And, now you know something about me and something about how you can use it to your advantage, so go to it!
I had a lot of fun working with John Candy. We had a pretty good rapport. -Harold Ramis #tautology
I think there’s a natural chemistry between us as friends; and there’s really no separation between the rapport that we feel when we’re in conversation and when we’re playing music, it’s one in the same. -Benny Green #repeater
We still have that same burn, to get that same kind of laughs. So whether the studio wants us to or not, we’re going to do it. The money is just a byproduct of coming out with good stuff. Our whole thing is building that rapport with the audience. -Shawn Wayans
Football isn’t a contact sport; it’s a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. -Vince Lombardi #alloiosis
Dancing’s just a conversation between two people. Talk to me. -Steven Rogers, “Hope Floats” #simile #analogy
In conversation as in dance, each is the mirror of other. -Author Unknown #simile #analogy P.S. I don’t know Bo Didley, either
Q – Jade, it seems as if you are always repeating yourself.
A – No doubt. No doubt it does. And, it could be that I am.
Q – Are you?
A – Absolutely…well, not all the time. No.
Q – But, aren’t your last two answers repeaters?
A – Yes. Yes they are.
Q – Why do you do this?
A – Other than because I’m obsessively compulsive about repeater patterns? Well, let’s see, I have found them to be very persuasive in persuasive communications of all types. Advertising, sales, marketing, interdepartmental, interpersonal, interestingly, in just about every area that I observe and hear.
Q – You said, “interpersonal.” What are some examples of that?
A – Other than you having just repeating “interpersonal?” Let’s just take that, for instance, for a moment. One of the things I have noticed that salespeople do is repeat back the last word or phrase to their prospect in order to get them to open up more during the sales conversation. It’s very effective. I’m not a psychologist, so I don’t know the psychological reason for this, but I can tell you it’s definitely a pattern and an effective one at that.
Another thing it does is reconfirms that the target person said it in the first place. Whether it was said just previous or days or weeks or months ago, it can be used to take the target person back to that moment and recapture what they were thinking at the moment and refresh their memory, if you will, about the all the thinking that went into it.
And, yet another purpose is that it ties them to it. And, when you do it gracefully, it is received well. It’s hard to disagree with what you said. In other words, it’s hard to disagree with your own ideas when you’re faced with them. After all, they’re their ideas! The need to stay consistent with what they’ve said previously weighs heavily.
Similar to the way a high performing person opens up a follow up call or appointment with, “…you said the other day you were looking to improve your processes, what did you mean by that?”
Another example is when you opened this question with “You said, ‘interpersonal?’”
So, I would highly advise someone to use it in very personal relationships, also. Not only in the courting phase, but all phases of your relationship. Imagine coming home from a rough day of work and opening the door with “I love you.” Since it’s true and you left for work that morning saying it, it’s a great opening. Or, another example is “when you said the other day in passing that you were hungry for ice cream are you still hungry for a nice cold heaping helping of ice cream. You screamed, I scream, we all scream for ice cream. What do you say?”
I’m going to go get me some!
_____________________________________
A best-seller was a book which somehow sold well because it was selling well. -Daniel J. Boorstin #conduplicatio
Second language learners recall native language when reading, brain research suggests. They confuse sounds and utterances of the new language with words from their native language.
You’re kidding! I just hope taxpayers aren’t paying for study of common sense…again!
Now for something usable. English language learners recall like-sounding language when reading, common sense suggests. Again, no kidding. Ever heard of a homonym? I thought so.
I have been asked several times why I’m writing down homonyms, homophones, homographs and homonymic puns. Part of the reason is I’m addicted to it. Part of the reason is it’s useful to do so in that it assists in the cortical pathways in the brain and creates new faster pathways. It’s a long way of saying it makes my mind work faster which helps when trying to get to certain information faster, especially when I’m communicating.
I use homonymic-type language for fun, as well. So do most comedians, btw. And, not just on Laffy Taffy.
Even when my children were as young as 4, I started pointing out homonymic-type language in the children’s books we read. Soon, they were noticing my sense of humor even when I wasn’t being so obvious about it.
On a more serious note, I often use homonyms and the like when disciplining my children, as well. I use them to hide commands and instructions so they don’t resist consciously …as much. E.g. “you sit down on your seat.” “Oh Billy, where’s your shoes.” Get it seat/seat and where’s/wears. Sneaky, huh. I only wished my dog was smart enough to use this with her.
When working with coaching clients, I do the same thing. But, hopefully they already have their shoes on so I don’t have to pull out that one.
Advertisers use this, as well. Or, better. But, surely they aren’t trying to influence behavior by getting their audience into buying the products they peddle. By now, people have surely caught onto this practice and inoculated themselves against it. Or not.
____________________
I think I’ve said enough in this post, already. -Jade Handy
Just in case you weren’t paying attention: Persuasion language learners will appreciate the following. In the sentence,
“Advertisers use this, as well. Or, better. But, surely they aren’t trying to influence behavior by getting their audience into buying the products they peddle. By now, people have surely caught onto this practice and inoculated themselves against it. Or not.”
I snuck in these persuasive language patterns.
-command “advertisers, use this”
-homonymic/phonological; as well (also/just as effectively)
-homonymic/phonological; or better (more effectively/modal operator of necessity)
-”but” pattern for dissing former statement; meaning they aren’t better than me
-innuendo; “surely they aren’t”
-homonymic/phonological; “by” “getting their audience” “into buying” “by now”
-alliteration; products they peddle
-exaggeration of unlikeliness due to lack of awareness or training “surely…caught on”
-scope-type ambiguity “have surely”(caught on and inoculated/caught on, only)
-exaggeration of unlikeliness due to lack of awareness or training “inoculated themselves”
-practice what I preach; “or not” is an inoculation pattern
-pacing and inoculating mismatchers saying to themselves or me, “I doubt it”; “or not”
I should have waited to write Fun Making Job Search Fun until today, because I came across several “real-world” examples to show you how this pattern plays out in several contexts. I like to show multiple contexts for persuasion patterns because if a pattern isn’t applicable to most, if not all contexts, then I ignore it until it pops up in multiple contexts or I decide that it’s not a relevant pattern of persuasion.
I should have waited, but I didn’t. But, I decided you shouldn’t be punished for my proactiveness and unwillingness to wait for perfection before I get started writing about something.
As we have previously learned, tying two things together is sometimes as simple as using the same words, consecutively. Unfortunately, the pattern is neutral, it’s the person using it that makes it bad or good.
I came across this first example this morning in this May 16th news story, “A 7-year-old Detroit girl sleeping on a couch was shot and killed early Sunday after a Detroit police officer’s weapon went off while he was searching for a homicide suspect, police said.” And, assistant Police Chief Ralph Godbee had this to say,
“This is any parent’s worst nightmare. It also is any police officer’s worst nightmare,”
Way to tie those to considerations together. I’m sure the family of the victim appreciates you elevating an innocent child’s death to the level of a policeman’s guilt.
For a more neutral example, yesterday morning, I was watching the Today Show. During a commercial for Bank of America, they started each bullet point with
“what if X…, what if Y…, what if Z…” Then, remarkably, the next commercial was for Jackie Chan’s new movie. Unexpectedly, the first words of the commercial script were “what if …” something about what if someone was somebody or something or other.
The X, Y, and Zs of this are of no consequence since it’s the pattern is what we’re after here, not the content.
Now, I’m sure there’s no way that advertising creative excutives would plot this into the script and be able to tie two consecutive commercials together to get your unconscious mind to connect fraudulent-bank feelings about Bank of America to a “Cool!” feeling that a good portion of the country has towards Jackie Chan, but nonetheless, I can continue to conspire to think so.
And, finally, during the Today Show, in a newsworthy interview regarding the Gulf oil disaster and, specifically, the underwater oil problem, an underwater oil worker said,
“most people are concerned with the oil on the surface, we’re concerned with the oil under the surface.”
Or something to that effect. Again, you’ll notice the repeated words and phrases used to link the two concepts. This helps to instill the idea so that you remember it and are influenced to believe that they are concerned. Now, to be fair, I don’t think he was coached to say this (I’m actually not a conspiracy theorist). He probably believes it to be true and honestly wants to communicate this message to those concerned.
But, this just goes to show that these patterns occur naturally during moments of persuasive communication. Which, BTW, means you can, too, use them to the same end.
_________________________________
Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought. Napoleon Hill
It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. Muhammad Ali
You affect your subconscious mind by verbal repetition. W. Clement Stone
Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex. Norman Vincent Peale
Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality. Earl Nightingale
It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom. Quentin Crisp
The ear tends to be lazy, craves the familiar and is shocked by the unexpected; the eye, on the other hand, tends to be impatient, craves the novel and is bored by repetition. W. H. Auden
This is the lesson that history teaches: repetition. Gertrude Stein
Steve Roesler has posted an excellent post on Three Ways to Improve Your Next Presentation. I’m a big fan. And, I’m going to take each of the 3 a little further for you to apply even more easily.
1. Don’t let “the facts” speak for themselves. Interpret them for them. Here’s what I recommend. Interpret them into the WIIFM using the Feature Advantage Benefit format. e.g. “Our numbers are down 10%. That means when we bring them back to where they usually are, you’ll see 20% more in your pocket.”
2. Use two kinds of numbers. The lesson here is know what you want, e.g. credible and memorable, pay attention to the response you get, and then, as always (and especially when writing), adjust accordingly.
3. Capitalize on the Legitimacy of the Printed Word. I strongly agree, especially when any type of negotiations might take place, that you benefit when you present information on paper. Even non-financial situations benefit from the printed word, e.g. “Don’t feed the animals.” A recent hospital room I was in visiting had, “No food or drink allowed.” I stopped drinking my coffee and asked the nurse if the sign applied to coffee. Might sound like an obvious “yes.” But, come to find out, it actually means “without permission.” Apparently, guests often bring contraband in to “soothe” the patients. None the less, it put me in the awkward and uncomfortable position of not being in the power position.
All three of Steve’s suggestions have a common thread – credibility. Credibility is vital for any persuasive communication. Establish it early and often throughout your interactions. Remember to pay attention to what works and adjust accordingly.
When Alec Brownstein set out to land a job in the very creative field of advertising, he knew he had to be creative.
Repetition and creative may sound contradictory, but they certainly aren’t in this application. Alec set out to get a great job with a great company by contacting great leaders. Did he go about it in the most predictable way? No. Of course not. That wouldn’t be congruent with creative.
When Ian Reichenthal, an advertising creative director, Googled himself, he noticed the ad at the top of the page. It got his attention, to say the least. The ad read, “Hey, Ian Reichenthal. Gooogling yourself is a lot of fun. Hiring me is fun, too.” Now, that’s creative! Let’s take a close look at this ad and the wording used.
Gooogling. Gooogling, not Googling. Why 3 “o”s? Ooooo, I don’t know, but it sure does stand out, doesn’t it.
Googling yourself. Now we’re getting somewhere. Is this message for his staff? No. Is it for everyone searching for Ian? No. Is it for Ian and Ian, only? Yes.
Is a lot of fun. Isn’t that why we do it? Who hasn’t Googled themselves? I know I have. I love to see my name in backlights. Maybe this is how Alec could predict with pretty good accuracy that Ian would be doing it and having fun at it.
Hiring me. Let’s not beat around the bush here. I’m guessing a high level executive in New York City likes to cut to the chase. Yeah?
Is a lot of fun, too. Hey! I feel like I’ve been had. Sure, using “fun” is what Alec would like Ian’s experience of hiring Alec be indicative of, but I think there’s more to this “fun”. Namely, he didn’t say, “enjoyable,” “joyful,” “exciting,” or any other word associated with “fun”. Alec didn’t say, “worthwhile,” “smart,” “good decision-making,” or any other word associated with “hiring”. He said, “fun.” Again. He said, “fun.” He said, “fun” because if Ian has an internal “yes” response to “Gooogling yourself is fun,” then describing hiring Alec as “fun” will likely re-associate that “yes” response to hiring him even with out ending it with “too”. GENIUS! And, creative.
I know most people don’t associate Ivan Pavlov’s work to linguistic repetition. But Pavlov didn’t start out in psychology either, so we can bridge it’s use to persuasion via the Archimedes Principle. It’s the modern usage if you’re creative enough.
Repeating words isn’t just a rhetorical anaphora, epistrophe, alliteration, rhyme or other device used to evoke rhythm and emphasis, it also serves to associate two unrelated thoughts.
Ever wondered how you could get your prospects to associate buying your products to achieving their business objectives?
What we do in dreams, we also do when we are awake: we invent and fabricate the person with whom we associate – and immediately forget we have done so. -Frederich Nietzsche
Does Pavlov’s dogs ring a bell? -bad joke, good example
I don’t think most people associate me with leeches or hot to get them off. But I know how to get them off. I’m an expert at it. -Nancy Reagan < They will now, Nancy, they will now!
On the other hand, the concept owes its meaning and its justification exclusively to the totality of the sense impressions with which we associate with it. -Albert Einstein
Couldn’t have framed this moment better. When I first thought about this sign in a hospital room, I thought, “that’s a sign I should blog.” So, I am.
.
Now, before you get on me about the sign’s true intention, I’m nitpicking, or this, that or another thing, let me start by saying I realize all of those things. I could have just passed by the sign and passed on the opportunity to pass the lesson on to you, but, that wouldn’t teach you anything (other than #antistasis.)
.
When I saw the sign, my mind went immediately to “how could I have made this better?” And, that’s what you’ll have to do if you have this kind of language posted in your room. The way this is written is what I would post in someone’s room that I secretly hated. Why?
.
1st of all, the trailing thought is “fall.” Remember what I said in the second paragraph about objecting based on intention. I realize they don’t want me to fall, but that’s not what the sign says to me, let alone someone who’s in a hospital trance and even more receptive to subliminal messages.
.
Let’s take this into different contexts for a change. Imagine a salesperson saying to a prospect “buy, don’t leave.” Sales people starve when they communicate this way. Or, a teacher saying “remember, don’t forget.” Students remember, not, this way. Or a police officer saying “freeze, don’t move.” People get shot. I don’t know about you, but I want those messages clean and clear.
.
2nd issue is “don’t.” I thought everyone knew the power of positive talk, by now; and that negatives aren’t processed by the unconscious mind, especially when your conscious mind is distracted (like thinking of how your life might change after leaving the hospital.) Your mind makes these subtle connections, even if you don’t.
.
Back to the sign. Now, I did have the thoughts “happens all the time with signs” & “probably not indicative of anything.”
You know, those types of justification giving them the benefit of the doubt. But it turns out, it’s the modus operandi of the entire department, or at least the staff I observed first hand.
.
Doctors don’t see an immediate cause-effect like salespeople do, or do they. Can you not, using your sensory acuity, pick up on the patient’s response to what you’re saying?
.
The staff didn’t impress me with comments like “when you get home, don’t be falling down and be falling down steps” and “you’re going to be prone to dropping stuff, y, and z” (I don’t remember all the specific injury causing actions,) “I just don’t want to see you on the news. I don’t like to see my patients on the news” (side note: that’s a horrible presupposition of their post-discharge history) and believe it or not “I don’t want the next one to be worse.” Not one positive suggestion. Not one.
.
The closest was “…so you’re not hung out to dry.” Not very positive, is it?
.
Positive suggestions are using, “so you land on your feet,” or even, “so you hit the ground running when you do get back to work,” or “so you come out of this forgetting it ever happened,” or best, “never mind that, you’ll be fine in due time (what never happened?)” or even, “come out of this standing on your on two feet,” or, “get your bearings,” “keep your financial standing,” “maintain your lifestyle,” or anything that keeps patients moving forward and thinking of the future.
.
How about just “When You Need Help, Just Call.” Even my 2 year old uses this language structure.
.
Which of these would you rather have used on you? Or would you like your patients to enjoy?
_________________________________________
.
Hell isn’t merely paved with good intentions; it’s walled and roofed with them. Yes, and furnished too. -Aldous Huxley#reformingcliche
.
It has been more wittily than charitably said that hell is paved with good intentions; they have their place in heaven also. -Robert Southey#reformingcliche
.
My hatred is a thousand times more powerful than all your good intentions. -Jim Goad (OK, maybe not that much!)
It’s been said that fortunes are built around products just 10% different than whatever else is out there. No need to totally reinvent the wheel.
Sometimes things can be too new. Who knew?
As far as just 10% different, though, think diesel engines, SUVs, crossovers, and convertables. Also, bell-bottom, faded, stone-washed and skorts.
Other times, it’s helpful to have something totally new. Like Presidents!
Car companies try to have their cake and eat it too, with “The All New Such and Such.” So it’s just enough of what you’re familiar with and just enough different so you notice. How about “equal to 10% fruit.” Whatever that is!
Persuasion is all about when to match and when not to match what the person in front of you is displaying.
Hint: match the stuff you want and mismatch the stuff you don’t want.
You can start with the individual aspects of personality types. Personality types are great for learning new things to pay attention to, but waaaaaayy overgeneralize. So, stick with the individual aspects of each until you notice certain patterns emerging for yourself.
Then, blend these aspects with even more specifics having to do with body language. Have fun!
_____________________________________
Choosing a name that is easy to distinguish from other words may help the dog learn it more quickly. -Twitter RT @BeDogSavvy
It’s impossible to differentiate without being at least a little different. -Jade Handy #sbns
I agree. Get a lay of the land before opening your mouth. I get it. And, more specifically, here is what I learned for the next time my wife is driving: Know when it’s time for me to take on a more supportive role and let her do the driving. Even if it takes us a little longer to get there. Even if we are late.
When you read his article, you’ll realize these are his words “almost” word for word. Why did I do that? Because when something rings true with you, don’t mess with it. Go with it.
I, also, love his use of “you’d be wrong.” … It’s right on.
The cool stuff this blog is made of::: ”like a lot like” -rhyme; “lot like” -alliteration; “But it’s not” -Switch direction; lot-not -rhyme; movie-movie – repeat; title-title -repeat; “you should” -advice; advice unsolicited-unsolicited advice -antimetabole; common-common -repeat; ways to-ways to -#anaphora, “Ways to not” sounds like “waste not.” – #homonymicpun; gain common ground -sandwiched alliteration; “after reading” -presupposition; “should tell you” -unsolicited advice; subscribe -semantic priming; ”I get it” -(lay of the land/understand); even if-even if” -#anaphora; “When you read” -presupposition; “you’ll realize” -awareness presupposition; word for word -symploce, “did I do” -sounds cool; because -Cialdini reason; true-you -rhyme; mess with it. Go with it. – #epistrophe#isocolon; “you’d be wrong.” … It’s right on. – #assonance; “right on” -(correct and/or OK with me and/or antonym of wrong)
Is this a sick joke when people say don’t use a worn out cliche?
Ever heard of a poet’s license when using a cliche? That means if you claim having one, you can get away with using any one. Cliches are the backbone of colorful language.
Besides, who’s the “worn-out cliche” police, anyway? You’ll have to pry cliches from my cold dead hands. No one is listening to the authorities anyway. What I mean is that anyone who’s anyone is doing whatever the hell they please.
It’s the nobodies who’s voice is never heard because they were too scared of the authorities. And, it’s the nobodies that are telling the somebodies what to do. You’re not the boss o’ me!
Cliches, even the worn-out kind, will never die because they are a form of metaphor and storytelling. There is a story behind every cliche. That gets passed on generation to generation. So, good luck!
What else is out? Black? No, black is the new black. Making money on Wall Street? Please. Not even close.
Another reason cliches will never see the pearly gates is because they are constantly changing to keep up with current culture. When all is said and done, I say “carry on cliches!” Carry on because it’s one of the options for brevity. Seriously. Who wants to hear a long drawn out dissertation on how you jumped the gun or flew the coop or broke all the rules? Just do it!
__________________________________________
Choose something you like to do. I know it’s a cliche, and you’ve heard it over and over. But the reason is, you’re going to have to work long and hard to achieve any success. You better like it or life is going to be terrible. -Bill Kurtis#prolepsis#anthypophora
Every cliche about kids is true; they grow up so quickly, you blink and they’re gone, and you have to spend the time with them now. But that’s a joy. -Liam Neeson#absolutes
I don’t believe that old cliche that good things come to those who wait. I think good things come to those who want something so bad they can’t sit still. -Ashton Kutcher#reformcliche
If you want to use a cliche you must take full responsibility for it yourself and not try to fob it off on anon., or on society. -Lewis Thomas
If your mind is at work, we’re in danger of reproducing another cliche. If we can keep our minds out of it and our thoughts out of it, maybe we’ll come up with something original. -Peter Falk
My sound is very smooth. Not to be to cliche, but really sensual and sultry. -Paul Taylor#apophasis
So I think I sometimes will put a cliche in and then just pad it out so you’re not noticing. -Matthew Vaughn
There is a cliche that men want their women to be ladies in public and hookers behind closed doors. I want my woman to be the sharper image robot so that she can be turned off. -Al Goldstein#reformcliche
Any philosophy that can be put “in a nutshell” belongs there. -Sydney J. Harris
I know you want to know who won. People love to know what or who won. They’ll stick around for it. Tease the their curious bone and they’ll act as if you owe them something.
e.g. Top Ten Lists, 2 Times to Make it a Foursome, Bottom 5 Dives, 7 Ways to Get to Heaven, 3 Ways to Meet a woman on a swim team… what!?
Now, you caught the alliteration, maybe. You noticed the rhyme, even. But did you catch the #assonance end of it?
Chances are, you had to take a double take because it caught your attention. Just like the previous sentence where I used #parachesis.
Now, I know the all the Twitter hashtag links (#assonance, #parachesis) currently lead to not much if anything, but eventually they will. They are the dyes that tie colorful language together. BTW, the dye lots may change, but the impression stays the same.
Back to lists, lists and more lists. If you must know now, #1 is a tie: curiosity and how to get there. Ta ta…
____________________________________
A list is only as strong as its weakest link. -Donald Knuth
An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt. -Fred A. Allen
And I had this big, long list of what I wanted in a guy but I realized I didn’t stack up to the list myself. -Star Jones
Confront your fears, list them, get to know them, and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead. -Jerry Gillies
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. -Robert Orben
For years I’ve kept a list of dream projects. -Michael Bolton
I made this list of stuff that it’s time for me to try to do. -Rick Moody
In all planing you make a list and you set priorities. -Alan Lakein
Laughter is the best medicine – unless you’re diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list. -Jasper Carrott#reformingcliche
My to-do list is so long that it doesn’t have an end; it has an event horizon. -Craig Bruce
We don’t take care of our teachers and our cops and our firemen. They should be at the top of our list. -Brad Garrett
Why can’t somebody give us a list of things that everybody thinks and nobody says, and another list of things that everybody says and nobody thinks. -Oliver Wendell Holmes#inverse#antimetabole
Would you rather? Have all the questions? Or, have all the answers? Sounds witty and profound doesn’t it?
By Julia Manzerova Julia Manzerova on Flickr.com
(an Amazon Affiliate link,) without reference to NLP, I’ll probably never know. 
(link is an Amazon Affiliate link,) so I was definitely educated on the subject of fitness and health (read sarcasm here.) 
