State of Mind Coaching & Training

Getting someone to take action is the thing we all strive for. 

Have you ever noticed that getting someone to agree to something is easier immediately after you’ve motivated them to do something?  Have you ever gotten to the point where you realize your children own you this way?  I’m there.

For example, when my child was at the ripe young age of 2, she often would come into the master bedroom and wake me up.  This was usually just as early as she was in her lifespam…early!  One time, but no the only time, I wake up to her demanding breakfast.  Normally, I would act dumb and not understand what she was saying.  “I want bekfet!”  I should have told her to say it clearly or she’s not getting it. ;-)   After some resistance, she changed course.  She says, “Get dressed.”  In my pajamas, already, I said, “I am dressed!” 

When you get someone into the state that you want them, attach it to what you want them to do. 

That’s the point I knew she had me.  See, She knows I have an innate desire to keep her alive and kicking by keeping her fed.  She knows I have my pajamas on because she has already tried her best to rip the covers off the bed.  She knows that if she can get me to agree out loud that I’m already dressed, therefore able to walk into the kitchen with dignity, that she can throw out the clincher.  “I am dressed!”  To which she unhesitatingly brings closure, “Then get up.” 

And, there you have it.  The “If – Then” assumption.  This leads to that.  If we’d satisfied this, then that is presupposed.”  I have a feeling she would have said “then get up” even if I had defended myself differently.  It’s really the ultimate trap.  No matter what I would have said after her set up, she could have pulled that one out. 

When you meet with someone and you want them to start off where they left off when you set the appointment in the first place, say “What was the reason you agreed to meet with me when we talked the other day?”  This does more than just help them live up to their committments, it also sets up the presupposition that if you can convince them that you’ve fulfilled that need, whatever it is, they should go to the next step that you set up. 

Sometimes one thing can lead to another, though.

“If you say you are 100% purest, then you are a raciest, if you say your not a a raciest then you are a hypocrite, if then you say your not a hypocrite then you must be lieing”
-Anonymous quote off the web

Photo credit:  petrichor

Years ago, Earl Nightingale told a story about a farmer greeting strangers.  It was similar, in meaning, to the following story and was told in his Essence of Success program.

It’s a story about a farmer who spots a traveler coming down his gravel road.  As the traveler approaches, the traveler inquires, “What type of people are in the town up ahead?”  “Well,” ponders the farmer, “What type of people did you used to live around?”  The traveler says, “They were lying, cheating, good-for-nothings.”  The farmer looks at the traveler and says, “Well, you’ll find the people up ahead are a bunch of lying, cheating, good-for-nothings.” 

Days later, another stranger come up his lane.  The farmer goes out to meet him where his lane meets the road.  The stranger asks, “Hello sir.  Might fine farm you have here.  What kind of people live in the town up ahead?”  “Well,” ponders the farmer, “What type of people did you used to live around?”  The stranger says, “Well, they are the kindest, most generous and welcoming people I ever did see.”  The farmer looks at the kind stranger and says, “Well, I reckon you’ll find the people up ahead are the kindest, most generous and welcoming people you ever did see.”

People only see what they’re prepared to see. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

This isn’t the first time I have touched on framing/re-framing, but it’s worth repeating a different way.  Fit this concept into the idea of framing your ideas in a story before you bring up the point of the story.  And, better yet, use it in your marketing messages!

Photo Credit: dok1

@BentleyGTCSpeed: Use “compared to” so your fee isn’t an absolute but relative, with high ROI. 

This in one of my favorite Tweets, ever.  Why?  Because it opens up a conversation about the fact that all decisions are made by comparison.

Now, I have posted about this topic previously.  Once in regards to the presentation and one about just gettting a “yes” in general.  This post is more geared towards the close of a conversation/sale. 

Even if you don’t believe all decisions are based on comparison, operate as if they were and you’ll get by much better.  Or, just suspend your old belief while I convince you otherwise. 

It’s either “this” or “that.”  It’s either “theirs” or “yours.”  At the very least, it’s either “yes” or “no,” right?  Consumer Reports might just as well have been called Comparison Reports. But, they are marketing to their buyer, not the “advantage” part of FAB (Feature Advantage Benefit.)  If you’ve never seen it, their magazine is entirely devoted to comparison.

So, how do we apply this to helping people make better decisions? 

Number 1 is always know that other options exist for whoever you’re persuading. 

Number 2 is utilize this information.
When gathering information:    How are you doing it now compared to how you want to be doing it?
When presenting:                       Inoculation is all about comparison.    
When asking “the” question:    Present as bigger faster stronger.
And, if you have to, overcome objections based on comparison so it’s not absolute, but relative.

Photo Credit: iStockPhoto

Now, I don’t mean, never never.  I mean, don’t say “no” when “yes” will do.  It’s just another way of keeping the customer in “yes” mode.

Some time ago, I was reviewing a call by salesperson who was trying to win back some old accounts by calling up previous customers.  The salesperson was able, in short order, to get the previous customer interested.  The salesperson asked if he could quote the previous customer(PC).  The PC said, “Do you have my information, still?”(That’s a big green light, BTW)  Without thinking, the salesperson said, “No, we’d have to go through the information we have in order to confirm everything is accurate and up to date.”  Obviously, in this situation, the salesperson could have honestly said, “Yes, let’s go ahead.  We’ll confirm the information as we go” and assumed the quote and next the sale.

He was on the hook, but as soon as he heard “no,” he checked out mentally and hung up!  Customers don’t like to hear “no.”  He was hooked, but didn’t like where this was headed.  Any time there is the opportunity to agree with what a customer wants, do.  Even if you have to consider what would make it an honest statement to do so. 

Pay attention to how often other people say “yes” when the literal answer is “no.”  Example, “Mr. Salesperson, do you have X?”  If you’re not completely comfortable saying “yes” at all, then just don’t say “no.”  “We carry similar models.” Or, “We used to.” Better yet, answer, “Yes, (as in, I understand what you’re asking), we carry similar models.” Or, “Yes (I hear your question clearly,) we used to.”

Just as an exercise, listen for how people around you are saying “yes” in ways that might at first seem like they should have answered “no.”  But, when you think about it more, the listener heard “yes” and understood it to mean they understand, they are considering the question, they are just being congruent with the rest of the statement, or other colloquialism just to fill space. 

Obviously, I’m not condoning saying “yes” when you mean “no.”  In fact, I’m a firm believer honesty is the best policy.  Find a way to say “yes,” honestly.  Even if it’s just a matter of semantics.  The customer will hear it the way you meant it, and you’ll both be happier for not setting up roadblocks to the sale.

Remember, nobody ever got married saying “no” after the ring was presented.

Photo credit: Freaking News.com

Wondering what the difference between pre-framing and reframing is? Well, pre-framing happens before reframing would.  Pre-framing inoculates the need for reframing.  
 

So what is pre-framing?  Pre-framing is setting the angle/perspective/contextual filter for what follows.  Pre-framing includes, but is not limited to inoculation, cognitive qualifiers, telling a story before introducing your point, dialog tags like “he said” vs. “he uttered,” forewarning, and the standby under-promise over-deliver.

You might recognize and utilize some of these techniques more than others, but you can use them just the same.  Inoculation -referring to an earlier post- is used when you know within reasonable certainty that an objection is going to come up. Inoculation can assert itself in more than one way.  One way is to pretend as if the prospect has brought up an objection, then overcome it.  This might sound obvious, but it’s not by everyone.  e.g. “Even if we, as a dealership, go under, the manufacturer has set up a contingency plan for other dealers to fill in.”  The other way is to create aversion.  Making another option so undesirable that the customer turns and runs the opposite way-preferably towards you!  e.g. “I heard you say you thought you were interested in an SUV, but with 3 children, most all people prefer the ease of use of a van.”  This one got me, recently.

Fortunately, cognitive qualifiers are easier to use than the name lets on.  Briefly, cognitive qualifiers are used to set the stage before presenting subsequent information.  e.g. “Certainly, I’d be more than happy to get that out to you right away!” “I almost forgot, we have a special on those, today.”

Reframing is if you are not sharp enough to reframe.  Reframing is when you’re backpedaling.  What I meant to say is…It’s not as much that as it is…Instead, pyre-frame – all the cool kids are doing it!

Finally, clarity between and re framing. 

Photo credit: http://www.zazzle.com/i_bring_nothing_to_the_table_tshirt-235616568756797093

I JUST ABOUT FELL OFF MY CHAIR when I read the last paragraph of this article Why Toddlers Don’t Do What They’re Told.  This is akin to a rogue magician revealing secrets of their trade!  A wise person will take this and apply it to every prospect you ever meet.

NOT ONLY HAS THIS ARTICLE hit the nose on the head, it even condensed the technique into one little nugget of gold by giving the example, “I know you don’t want to take your coat now, but when you’re standing in the yard shivering later, remember that you can get your coat from your bedroom.”

I’ve been using this Rosetta Stone for for years.  I eventually landed my biggest sale, yet, using this very technique.  I can’t believe I’m sharing it with you now for your future use.

First of all, remember and understand what this article is saying is that a child doesn’t think in the future (think spending money recklessly, drugs, promiscuity, etc.,) and barely thinks in terms of the present, even.  Plan now to apply this focus-on-past-mistakes perspective to what your future prospects must be thinking.  Is it possible that the reason they are skeptical is because they are living in the past and trying to apply what they’ve learned to an upcoming decision vs. thinking about how they are going to redeem themselves to their boss/checking account if they make a mistake!  Even if this isn’t a true and accurate picture of everyone you talk to, conduct yourself as if it is true. 

Now, consider that you’ve got to get a person’s attention, then get their head wrapped around your product/service/concept in a way that they see themselves enjoying the benefits at the future point in time that they’ll have it, and finally bring them back into the moment and sign what you have in front of them (or get them to say “yes” if you’re not a salesman) feeling as if they are actually going to be making the decision for the second time (’cause the second time is always easier than the first.)

Think of it like this

1. Starting in the present, 2. Take them into the future, 3. bring them back to the present with an eye on the future

Here is a simplified example:
Mr. prospect, what is your current situation, what will you experience once you’ve already made the right decision and most importantly, what is the next step in getting there?

There, I said it.  Now go use it.  And come back and let me know how.

Do you want me to brush your teeth, or do you want to do it yourself?

Maybe you’ve had to utter this phrase.

Chances are you’re a parent, then.

Unconfirmed rumors about studies that address the sequence of the introductory statement suggest this is the best order to utter it.  Also, my own personal count confirms it.  Try rotating the order and track the results, yourself.  Night one, ”Do you want to do it yourself, or do you want me to brush your teeth.?” Night two, “Do you want me to brush your teeth, or do you want to do it yourself?” etc.

In a professional environment, you can amplify the choices, easily.  “Do you want the cheaper version, or do you want the one that will really fill your needs the way you need, want and in the long run will be in your best interests, financially?”

I mean, would you rather wallow aimlessly in your persuasive pursuits, or would you rather do it in a methodical fashion, successfully?