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Would you rather? Have all the questions? Or, have all the answers? Sounds witty and profound doesn’t it?
It’s really not. It’s actually even a fallacy. A fallacy of choices, aka false dilemma. You may have read or heard it called a false dichotomy. In layman’s terms?… the either-or fallacy.
Would you rather? Have all the questions? Or, have all the answers?
What’s that you say? Well, when I pose the question this way, it only presents two options. So, while you’re trying to figure out which one I want you to say (possibly so you can say the opposite and present your argument that way,) I’m chuckling to myself that you have allowed me to box you in.
Chuckling, because you should recognize this tactic as soon as it leaves my mouth. Even if you don’t know all of the technical terms, you should feel it as something that limits you, or corrals you.
On the other hand, all people desire this some of the time. Even I want this, sometimes. When I talk to an expert, I want them to narrow the choices down for me and based on the information they have gathered, give me what they feel are the best two choices, then hand it off to me to decide. I don’t want a million options. Just give me two.
And, the person you’re persuading does, also. So, do your homework, then do it for your customer, then give them two choices.
Don’t worry, if they want more, they’ll indicate this to you, some how. A look, a sound, a movement, or a blatant question of “what else are my options.” Then, don’t do like some people and give a bold extreme option to move away from and make the first two look good in comparison, give them what you now think they would need, want or would like to hear.
Here’s an interesting side note. Doing a Compfight.com search of “middle ground” for Flickr.com photos to use for this post results in almost only pictures of military maneuvers. Hmmmm…
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You’re either part of the solution or part of the problem. -Eldridge Cleaver
Over time it’s going to be important for nations to know they will be held accountable for inactivity,” he said. “You’re either with us or against us in the fight against terror. -George W. Bush
OK, OK, one from both sides of the fence, just to be “fair.”
The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who in time of moral crisis preserve their neutrality. -John F. Kennedy
When something happens never, then does, I usually perk up and notice. Only-child syndrome is one of those. However, I’m not talking about it only in the context of an only-child, but we’ll start there.
Ever talk to someone who only has one child about how that child relates to other children?
One set of parents will say, “Little Johnny is an only-child, so, of course, he is going to engage with other children whenever he gets around them.”
Another set of parents will say, “Little Jenny is an only-child, so, of course, she is going to be shy around other children whenever she gets around them.”
Now, this is paraphrasing and simplifying and unfairly categorizing, of course, but that’s an important step in the process of pattern recognition and reverse engineering.
This only-child syndrome that I’m talking about doesn’t just happen with only-child parents, of course. It happens with all kinds of on/off patterns (as opposed to rheostatic-types where the condition is a gradation of the extremities.)
You might recognize this having occurred when someone talks about poker tells, birth order or even someone’s upbringing and the type of person they are. e.g. “Miles grew up with a silver spoon, so, of course, he’s going to demand a higher standard of living for himself.” VS. ”Miles grew up with a silver spoon, so, of course, he’s not going to know how to develop higher standard of living for himself.”
How about sports? “Amy has always been active, so, of course, she’s going to continue the habit when she’s older.” VS. “Amy has always been active, so, of course, she’s going to burn out on the habit when she’s older.”
And on and on.
The overall point being, notice how people organize their experience, give reasons for things, and influence behavior using it.
And, of course, compare it to what’s not there. Meaning, notice what could have been said and wasn’t. This is where you develop pattern recognition. Because there is something driving the decision, and in that context, it can help predict future decisions and behavior.
Most of us recognize these things, naturally, but of course, there are always those who don’t.
As far as which is controlling which, does the pattern control the behavior, or are there really reasons for things, well, that’s one for the chicken and the egg to decide.
Welcome to Smart Start À La Carte. This is your à la carte path to linguistic excellence. Each edition includes an impressive array of ways to make an impression. Some will be simple specific spoon-fed examples that you can slide into your daily dialog. Some will be a description or definition of a pattern, concept or category of persuasive communication with an example, of course.
“Now” | Now what better way to create urgency linguistically. Push yourself to build “now” into your language more often by peppering your every utterance with it.
e.g. “Now, what was I saying.” “Now when are you going to start that project?” “Bob wants us to start that project. Now is as good a time as ever.” ”I want it now, now, now!”
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Latin Logical Phrase | argumentum a fortiori: I use it a lot in my writing. Search my posts (use this link) and you’ll find many examples. Read my posts and you’ll learn them in context. Hey, if my Mom reads them and likes them, so will you.
FigaroSpeech.com describes this better than anyone. “Remember the commercial for Life Cereal, the one where the brothers experiment on picky little Mikey? If Mikey liked it, the boys figured, anyone would. That’s an argument a fortiori: If something less likely is true, then something more likely will probably be true as well.”
e.g. “…Al and Tipper Gore were separating — the “if they can’t make it, who can” ruminations…” If that’s a true statement, we’re all in trouble!
If you don’t fully grasp this concept, you’re falling behind. Falling for this belief will grab you by the tail.
Ever wonder why some people “have it” and some people don’t? That’s what I’m talking about.
Have you ever experienced the belief (either your own or others’) that if you’re not a “hit” or a “blockbuster” or hugely successful in the ”public eye” already that you either don’t have “it” or you must not be that good?
Pretend the belief of “they’re hits, so that must mean they’re good” is on the left “X” axis labeled popularity.
Now, imagine the skill sets and unique talents of you and other talented people are on the right “Y” axis labeled products. And, pretend the belief of “they aren’t hits, so they must not be good” is there, as well.
Now, sink into the paradox you’ve put yourself in…
See it? Where do you fit? In the chart, that is. Before you fully decide, read further.
#1, both of the beliefs mentioned above are fallacies of thought. Mine and yours, for those who need clarification on the lost performative in that statement.
Q – Jade, it seems as if you are always repeating yourself.
A – No doubt. No doubt it does. And, it could be that I am.
Q – Are you?
A – Absolutely…well, not all the time. No.
Q – But, aren’t your last two answers repeaters?
A – Yes. Yes they are.
Q – Why do you do this?
A – Other than because I’m obsessively compulsive about repeater patterns? Well, let’s see, I have found them to be very persuasive in persuasive communications of all types. Advertising, sales, marketing, interdepartmental, interpersonal, interestingly, in just about every area that I observe and hear.
Q – You said, “interpersonal.” What are some examples of that?
A – Other than you having just repeating “interpersonal?” Let’s just take that, for instance, for a moment. One of the things I have noticed that salespeople do is repeat back the last word or phrase to their prospect in order to get them to open up more during the sales conversation. It’s very effective. I’m not a psychologist, so I don’t know the psychological reason for this, but I can tell you it’s definitely a pattern and an effective one at that.
Another thing it does is reconfirms that the target person said it in the first place. Whether it was said just previous or days or weeks or months ago, it can be used to take the target person back to that moment and recapture what they were thinking at the moment and refresh their memory, if you will, about the all the thinking that went into it.
And, yet another purpose is that it ties them to it. And, when you do it gracefully, it is received well. It’s hard to disagree with what you said. In other words, it’s hard to disagree with your own ideas when you’re faced with them. After all, they’re their ideas! The need to stay consistent with what they’ve said previously weighs heavily.
Similar to the way a high performing person opens up a follow up call or appointment with, “…you said the other day you were looking to improve your processes, what did you mean by that?”
Another example is when you opened this question with “You said, ‘interpersonal?’”
So, I would highly advise someone to use it in very personal relationships, also. Not only in the courting phase, but all phases of your relationship. Imagine coming home from a rough day of work and opening the door with “I love you.” Since it’s true and you left for work that morning saying it, it’s a great opening. Or, another example is “when you said the other day in passing that you were hungry for ice cream are you still hungry for a nice cold heaping helping of ice cream. You screamed, I scream, we all scream for ice cream. What do you say?”
I’m going to go get me some!
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A best-seller was a book which somehow sold well because it was selling well. -Daniel J. Boorstin #conduplicatio
Why do I say this? Because it’s true. We all know people who use Twitter to follow other people, we all know people who only read blogs. We may know someone who uses Twitter to broadcast or engage in conversations, we may know of someone who uses blogs to broadcast or engage in conversations.
But, think about those you know who blog or just those bloggers you follow (another chiasmus, BTW.) I bet they are much more developed as leaders in their fields. Not because they are richer, better looking or “other-wise,” but because they are better able to express their intelligence in writing. They are closer to demonstrating what Alan Weiss calls “intellectual firepower.”
Or maybe not even “better able,” but just do! They put it out there.
Not just “them” writing, but you, become a better leader or developed in your knowledge by reading them, as well. You may find blogging yourself does it for you. Wouldn’t you agree? (FYI – the chances of you disagreeing with me saying you’re a becoming a better leader or more developed in your field is slim. You know why? Because if you read my blog, you’re on the cutting edge of your group of friends. And, like having a sense of humor, no one denies having that.)
The truth is You Can’t Fake Blogging. With a ”.” at the end.
Blogging, while getting easier the more you do it, takes content and purpose and discipline in order to keep it up. In order to build it out into something readable and useful, you have to get your thoughts out of your head and into the blogosphere. They used to say ‘get your thoughts out on paper,’ but only hardcore pen and paper enthusiasts do that anymore, I reckon.
And, even if you’re just blogging other people’s information (not so different from retweeting) and just grabbing small pieces of information and repacking it and repurposing it for your blog, you’re still telling something about yourself as a person and revealing quite a bit more than Twitter.
I remember doing my Icebreaker speech at Toastmasters. I did it utilizing The Back of the Napkin by Dan Roam. The instructions for the Icebraker project didn’t grab my attention and I was so excited to do otherwise, that I forgot to talk about myself because I wasn’t needing to talk about myself .
Luckily, a fellow Toastmaster wasn’t stumped by my lack of following directions and did a phenomenal job of thinking on the fly and utilizing how and what I was talking about, my style, and the kind of person I must be to have chosen that as a topic. He, also, picked up on how I presented it with no notes, a white board, etc. These are the things he was able to talk about in spite of myself. This is not unlike blogging, you see.
Just doing it leaves more clues about a person than 140 characters. A riff off “success leaves clues,” you see.
If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainty. -Francis Bacon
Failure is the foundation of success; success is the lurking place of failure. -Laozi
Fear cannot be without some hope nor hope without some fear. -Baruch Spinoza
Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind. -Bernard Baruch
Action may not always bring happiness … but there is no happiness without action. -Benjamin Disraeli
Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen. -Leonardo da Vinci
Charm is a woman’s strength just as strength is a man’s charm. -Havelock Ellis
Natural ability without education has more often raised a man to glory and virtue than education without natural ability. -Cicero
The superior man is easy to serve, but difficult to please … The inferior man is difficult to serve, but easy to please. -Confucius
Second language learners recall native language when reading, brain research suggests. They confuse sounds and utterances of the new language with words from their native language.
You’re kidding! I just hope taxpayers aren’t paying for study of common sense…again!
Now for something usable. English language learners recall like-sounding language when reading, common sense suggests. Again, no kidding. Ever heard of a homonym? I thought so.
I have been asked several times why I’m writing down homonyms, homophones, homographs and homonymic puns. Part of the reason is I’m addicted to it. Part of the reason is it’s useful to do so in that it assists in the cortical pathways in the brain and creates new faster pathways. It’s a long way of saying it makes my mind work faster which helps when trying to get to certain information faster, especially when I’m communicating.
I use homonymic-type language for fun, as well. So do most comedians, btw. And, not just on Laffy Taffy.
Even when my children were as young as 4, I started pointing out homonymic-type language in the children’s books we read. Soon, they were noticing my sense of humor even when I wasn’t being so obvious about it.
On a more serious note, I often use homonyms and the like when disciplining my children, as well. I use them to hide commands and instructions so they don’t resist consciously …as much. E.g. “you sit down on your seat.” “Oh Billy, where’s your shoes.” Get it seat/seat and where’s/wears. Sneaky, huh. I only wished my dog was smart enough to use this with her.
When working with coaching clients, I do the same thing. But, hopefully they already have their shoes on so I don’t have to pull out that one.
Advertisers use this, as well. Or, better. But, surely they aren’t trying to influence behavior by getting their audience into buying the products they peddle. By now, people have surely caught onto this practice and inoculated themselves against it. Or not.
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I think I’ve said enough in this post, already. -Jade Handy
Just in case you weren’t paying attention: Persuasion language learners will appreciate the following. In the sentence,
“Advertisers use this, as well. Or, better. But, surely they aren’t trying to influence behavior by getting their audience into buying the products they peddle. By now, people have surely caught onto this practice and inoculated themselves against it. Or not.”
I snuck in these persuasive language patterns.
-command “advertisers, use this”
-homonymic/phonological; as well (also/just as effectively)
-homonymic/phonological; or better (more effectively/modal operator of necessity)
-”but” pattern for dissing former statement; meaning they aren’t better than me
-innuendo; “surely they aren’t”
-homonymic/phonological; “by” “getting their audience” “into buying” “by now”
-alliteration; products they peddle
-exaggeration of unlikeliness due to lack of awareness or training “surely…caught on”
-scope-type ambiguity “have surely”(caught on and inoculated/caught on, only)
-exaggeration of unlikeliness due to lack of awareness or training “inoculated themselves”
-practice what I preach; “or not” is an inoculation pattern
-pacing and inoculating mismatchers saying to themselves or me, “I doubt it”; “or not”
In my Ick Factor post, I talked about one technique of getting children to eat tasty healthy foods. There are several techniques that I use to manipulate my children into eating tasty healthy foods that I can think of just off the top of my head.
In another post, I commented about someone else’s blog post about age and happiness, “So, while I believe it’s perfectly okay to point out flaws without offering a solution it is generally futile to do so.” So, I’m going to do that here.
1. I attach strong positive emotions to the event. e.g. cheer when they take a bite. I clap, “yeah” and make fool of myself to get them to smile. I personally think the human reaction to cheering is innate and affects everyone positively, whether you’re an athlete, on a stage, or not.
2. Attach sounds that are naturally attached to such emotions. e.g. “hmmm” “mmmmm” “gooooooood” and “yummmmmm.” This this gets the children saying these things because they are fun and the utterances get attached to healthy eating.
3. I rub my tummy because it is silly and it’s probably hard-wired to do so when you’re eating yummy foods.
4. Talk about the fun sensations associated with eating certain foods. e.g. “peas are fun to eat when you pop them in your mouth.” Children like popping things. Especially bubble wrap. Also, notice the lesser included structure of the sentence, “you pop them in your mouth.” It creates the manipulative 2nd meaning of a command.
5. I pretend I’m going to eat theirs if they don’t. I slowly and playfully motion towards their plate.
6. I pretend to be upset that they are eating their own peas. Children like to be in control of your emotions.
7. I pretend to be mad when they steal peas off of my plate. Children like to be in control of your emotions.
8. And, eventually, I pretend to be upset when they want the remaining scoop left in the serving dish. It’s just not fair that they get the last of the peas. People, I mean children, like to be the benefactor of unfairness.
9. I talk about their sibling liking the particular food being served. This gets emulation and a little competition going.
10. I talk about Olympian Shawn Johnson liking them. As well as any other celebrity. e.g. Cinderella, Dora, etc. Some might think this is dishonest, if so, refer to my Anything but That post. It was written for you. Shawn, thanks for being a veggie lover!
11. Rarely, and I mean rarely, do I offer some type of treat reward. If I do, it’s usually a surprise offering after they have eaten their serving and usually just in the beginning phase (the first few meals that they are being exposed to it and resisting.) Kind of like a jackpot at the casino. I’ll lose a few readers out there for that one.
12. I constantly chide, tease and playfully exaggerate things in order to add fun to eating new things.
13. Of course, I do the airplane bit with a spoonful flying into their mouth. Complete with the engine noises and other effects. They enjoy this, but it’ll be embarrassing for them at their 13th birthday party!
There are other ideas out there, but you can see how my children don’t stand a chance against the persuasiveness of their dear ole Dad when it comes to eating tasty healthy foods. Lucky kids, I tell ya. And that’s no lie!
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Changing corporate culture is like getting kids to eat peas -Sherri Maxson #analogy #simile
Being pretty on the inside means you don’t hit your brother and you eat all your peas – that’s what my grandma taught me. -Lord Chesterfield #complexequivalence
Mostly, I spend my time being a mother to my two children, working in my organic garden, raising masses of sweet peas, being passionately involved in conservation, recycling and solar energy. -Blythe Danner #enumeratio
Steve Roesler has posted an excellent post on Three Ways to Improve Your Next Presentation. I’m a big fan. And, I’m going to take each of the 3 a little further for you to apply even more easily.
1. Don’t let “the facts” speak for themselves. Interpret them for them. Here’s what I recommend. Interpret them into the WIIFM using the Feature Advantage Benefit format. e.g. “Our numbers are down 10%. That means when we bring them back to where they usually are, you’ll see 20% more in your pocket.”
2. Use two kinds of numbers. The lesson here is know what you want, e.g. credible and memorable, pay attention to the response you get, and then, as always (and especially when writing), adjust accordingly.
3. Capitalize on the Legitimacy of the Printed Word. I strongly agree, especially when any type of negotiations might take place, that you benefit when you present information on paper. Even non-financial situations benefit from the printed word, e.g. “Don’t feed the animals.” A recent hospital room I was in visiting had, “No food or drink allowed.” I stopped drinking my coffee and asked the nurse if the sign applied to coffee. Might sound like an obvious “yes.” But, come to find out, it actually means “without permission.” Apparently, guests often bring contraband in to “soothe” the patients. None the less, it put me in the awkward and uncomfortable position of not being in the power position.
All three of Steve’s suggestions have a common thread – credibility. Credibility is vital for any persuasive communication. Establish it early and often throughout your interactions. Remember to pay attention to what works and adjust accordingly.
When Alec Brownstein set out to land a job in the very creative field of advertising, he knew he had to be creative.
Repetition and creative may sound contradictory, but they certainly aren’t in this application. Alec set out to get a great job with a great company by contacting great leaders. Did he go about it in the most predictable way? No. Of course not. That wouldn’t be congruent with creative.
When Ian Reichenthal, an advertising creative director, Googled himself, he noticed the ad at the top of the page. It got his attention, to say the least. The ad read, “Hey, Ian Reichenthal. Gooogling yourself is a lot of fun. Hiring me is fun, too.” Now, that’s creative! Let’s take a close look at this ad and the wording used.
Gooogling. Gooogling, not Googling. Why 3 “o”s? Ooooo, I don’t know, but it sure does stand out, doesn’t it.
Googling yourself. Now we’re getting somewhere. Is this message for his staff? No. Is it for everyone searching for Ian? No. Is it for Ian and Ian, only? Yes.
Is a lot of fun. Isn’t that why we do it? Who hasn’t Googled themselves? I know I have. I love to see my name in backlights. Maybe this is how Alec could predict with pretty good accuracy that Ian would be doing it and having fun at it.
Hiring me. Let’s not beat around the bush here. I’m guessing a high level executive in New York City likes to cut to the chase. Yeah?
Is a lot of fun, too. Hey! I feel like I’ve been had. Sure, using “fun” is what Alec would like Ian’s experience of hiring Alec be indicative of, but I think there’s more to this “fun”. Namely, he didn’t say, “enjoyable,” “joyful,” “exciting,” or any other word associated with “fun”. Alec didn’t say, “worthwhile,” “smart,” “good decision-making,” or any other word associated with “hiring”. He said, “fun.” Again. He said, “fun.” He said, “fun” because if Ian has an internal “yes” response to “Gooogling yourself is fun,” then describing hiring Alec as “fun” will likely re-associate that “yes” response to hiring him even with out ending it with “too”. GENIUS! And, creative.
I know most people don’t associate Ivan Pavlov’s work to linguistic repetition. But Pavlov didn’t start out in psychology either, so we can bridge it’s use to persuasion via the Archimedes Principle. It’s the modern usage if you’re creative enough.
Repeating words isn’t just a rhetorical anaphora, epistrophe, alliteration, rhyme or other device used to evoke rhythm and emphasis, it also serves to associate two unrelated thoughts.
Ever wondered how you could get your prospects to associate buying your products to achieving their business objectives?
What we do in dreams, we also do when we are awake: we invent and fabricate the person with whom we associate – and immediately forget we have done so. -Frederich Nietzsche
Does Pavlov’s dogs ring a bell? -bad joke, good example
I don’t think most people associate me with leeches or hot to get them off. But I know how to get them off. I’m an expert at it. -Nancy Reagan < They will now, Nancy, they will now!
On the other hand, the concept owes its meaning and its justification exclusively to the totality of the sense impressions with which we associate with it. -Albert Einstein
I received this via Twitter after meeting Doug at a networking event. This immediately caught me eye.
Have you ever played that thinking game where you have to count the number of squares inside a block of squares within squares? That’s the same magic I discovered behind this request.
Let’s take it word by word.
Maybe. Probabilities scale says this isn’t likely, but that’s not how it’s being used here. It’s a softener. A Softener is a word or phrase used to cushion a call to action. Other softeners often used are “I’m wondering if, “Would it be possible,” “Could you,” as well as numerous others.
Coffee. Sounds pretty straight forward, but it’s not. “Coffee” as it’s being used here really is a linguistic symbol for spending some time together getting to know each other better on a platonic level most likely for business. Thanks for using it this way. No really. I touched on this when I wrote Say One Thing Mean Another.
Is. Not pulling a Clinton on this. Let’s move on shall we?
In our future. Hey, now that’s rhetorical if I ever saw it. And, effective persuasion involves some future action, does it not? Why not put it there? Linguistically, I mean. Which translates to mentally, anyway.
Side note: How does a person, like me, get to a point in life where I’m analyzing every word and phrase!? There has to be a support group for this.
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A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table – There’s nothing wrong with them, but it’s hard to stop thinking about it. -Garrison Keillor#simile
Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. -Alphonse Allais
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? -Steven Wright
Takes me to Inc.com. And, Jason Fried has written an article so good, I had to blog it up. Normally, I would stick to non-mainstream blogs, but I couldn’t resist.
Depending on how you count them, I was 13 paragraphs in (11 if you don’t count the block quotes) when I found this quote, “The company uses language as a filter.” This was following, “It’s kind of kidding and kind of not. Some people may be offended, but big deal. Woot [woot.com]isn’t trying to sell to every customer. It’s trying to sell to the customers that can laugh along. Those are the people who understand what Woot is about.” This was following this block quote from Woot’s FAQ page
No. Well, not really. If you buy something you don’t end up liking or you have what marketing people call “buyer’s remorse,” sell it on eBay. It’s likely you’ll make money doing this and save everyone a hassle.
How many of us are trying to do what Woot isn’t? Sell everyone, that is.
I know you don’t do this same thing in all areas of your life, or you’d never get anything accomplished. When you’re talking to strangers, don’t you sometimes talk in a fashion that will weed them out? Talking down to them, talking over their head, or turning your head to ignore them. When you’re talking to the opposite sex, aren’t you posing things certain ways in order to reel in your catch?
Comedies are full of victims of unwanted advances exaggerating something about themselves in an attempt to apppear undesirable. I guess it works both ways.
You probably even do this with your significant other, don’t you. I do. She does. It’s unavoidable. e.g. “Honey, I’m going to be busy working on that big project tonight.” You probably know what kind of response this will elicit without having to be explicit.
Top persuaders do something similar in their professional contexts. “We’re interested in companies that are looking for the next big thing and have the ability to act on it before their competition does.” Are you going to get “early adopters” or a laggard?
What I like about “language as a filter” is it clarifies by illustrating a more specific example of qualifying your customers. Most companies are qualifying customers by asking well-targeted questions like “What are you looking for in you next vehicle?” and targeting their first impression through branding efforts.
I especially like how Jason Fried practices what he preaches by using several recognizable rhetorical figures to lighten up the tone of the article. From the first two rhetorical questions to “What’s bad, boring, and barely read all over?” which is classic alliteration with a touch of color to his rapid fire questions “Who writes this stuff? Worse, who reads it and approves it? What does it say when tens of thousands of companies are saying the same things about themselves?” which amplify his point instead of just saying one of them banaly.
Couldn’t have framed this moment better. When I first thought about this sign in a hospital room, I thought, “that’s a sign I should blog.” So, I am.
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Now, before you get on me about the sign’s true intention, I’m nitpicking, or this, that or another thing, let me start by saying I realize all of those things. I could have just passed by the sign and passed on the opportunity to pass the lesson on to you, but, that wouldn’t teach you anything (other than #antistasis.)
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When I saw the sign, my mind went immediately to “how could I have made this better?” And, that’s what you’ll have to do if you have this kind of language posted in your room. The way this is written is what I would post in someone’s room that I secretly hated. Why?
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1st of all, the trailing thought is “fall.” Remember what I said in the second paragraph about objecting based on intention. I realize they don’t want me to fall, but that’s not what the sign says to me, let alone someone who’s in a hospital trance and even more receptive to subliminal messages.
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Let’s take this into different contexts for a change. Imagine a salesperson saying to a prospect “buy, don’t leave.” Sales people starve when they communicate this way. Or, a teacher saying “remember, don’t forget.” Students remember, not, this way. Or a police officer saying “freeze, don’t move.” People get shot. I don’t know about you, but I want those messages clean and clear.
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2nd issue is “don’t.” I thought everyone knew the power of positive talk, by now; and that negatives aren’t processed by the unconscious mind, especially when your conscious mind is distracted (like thinking of how your life might change after leaving the hospital.) Your mind makes these subtle connections, even if you don’t.
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Back to the sign. Now, I did have the thoughts “happens all the time with signs” & “probably not indicative of anything.”
You know, those types of justification giving them the benefit of the doubt. But it turns out, it’s the modus operandi of the entire department, or at least the staff I observed first hand.
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Doctors don’t see an immediate cause-effect like salespeople do, or do they. Can you not, using your sensory acuity, pick up on the patient’s response to what you’re saying?
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The staff didn’t impress me with comments like “when you get home, don’t be falling down and be falling down steps” and “you’re going to be prone to dropping stuff, y, and z” (I don’t remember all the specific injury causing actions,) “I just don’t want to see you on the news. I don’t like to see my patients on the news” (side note: that’s a horrible presupposition of their post-discharge history) and believe it or not “I don’t want the next one to be worse.” Not one positive suggestion. Not one.
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The closest was “…so you’re not hung out to dry.” Not very positive, is it?
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Positive suggestions are using, “so you land on your feet,” or even, “so you hit the ground running when you do get back to work,” or “so you come out of this forgetting it ever happened,” or best, “never mind that, you’ll be fine in due time (what never happened?)” or even, “come out of this standing on your on two feet,” or, “get your bearings,” “keep your financial standing,” “maintain your lifestyle,” or anything that keeps patients moving forward and thinking of the future.
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How about just “When You Need Help, Just Call.” Even my 2 year old uses this language structure.
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Which of these would you rather have used on you? Or would you like your patients to enjoy?
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Hell isn’t merely paved with good intentions; it’s walled and roofed with them. Yes, and furnished too. -Aldous Huxley#reformingcliche
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It has been more wittily than charitably said that hell is paved with good intentions; they have their place in heaven also. -Robert Southey#reformingcliche
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My hatred is a thousand times more powerful than all your good intentions. -Jim Goad (OK, maybe not that much!)
It’s been said that fortunes are built around products just 10% different than whatever else is out there. No need to totally reinvent the wheel.
Sometimes things can be too new. Who knew?
As far as just 10% different, though, think diesel engines, SUVs, crossovers, and convertables. Also, bell-bottom, faded, stone-washed and skorts.
Other times, it’s helpful to have something totally new. Like Presidents!
Car companies try to have their cake and eat it too, with “The All New Such and Such.” So it’s just enough of what you’re familiar with and just enough different so you notice. How about “equal to 10% fruit.” Whatever that is!
Persuasion is all about when to match and when not to match what the person in front of you is displaying.
Hint: match the stuff you want and mismatch the stuff you don’t want.
You can start with the individual aspects of personality types. Personality types are great for learning new things to pay attention to, but waaaaaayy overgeneralize. So, stick with the individual aspects of each until you notice certain patterns emerging for yourself.
Then, blend these aspects with even more specifics having to do with body language. Have fun!
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Choosing a name that is easy to distinguish from other words may help the dog learn it more quickly. -Twitter RT @BeDogSavvy
It’s impossible to differentiate without being at least a little different. -Jade Handy #sbns
I’m not a professional writer, but I do read for a living (meaning to make a life.) And if I know anything, it’s that the only rule of writing, or any other form of communication for that matter, is know your audience, and adjust accordingly.
Won ruhle that isn’t is cliche. I’d like to successfully brake evry other rule of writing out their, soooo long as it doesn’t break mine. It’s not all about me, though. It’s about you.
Don’t get me wrong, there are rules. If fact, you can’t even talk about rules without applying another.
The meaning of the communication is the response you get. Pure and simple. Even if you don’t think it’s true, operate as if you do. Having this belief orients your brain to taking responsibility for yourself and your writing more and more with each passing day. It’s fun.
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Writing rules. By that I mean writing is fun. That’s the only rule of writing. -Jade Handy #distinctio#ambiguity
Is this a sick joke when people say don’t use a worn out cliche?
Ever heard of a poet’s license when using a cliche? That means if you claim having one, you can get away with using any one. Cliches are the backbone of colorful language.
Besides, who’s the “worn-out cliche” police, anyway? You’ll have to pry cliches from my cold dead hands. No one is listening to the authorities anyway. What I mean is that anyone who’s anyone is doing whatever the hell they please.
It’s the nobodies who’s voice is never heard because they were too scared of the authorities. And, it’s the nobodies that are telling the somebodies what to do. You’re not the boss o’ me!
Cliches, even the worn-out kind, will never die because they are a form of metaphor and storytelling. There is a story behind every cliche. That gets passed on generation to generation. So, good luck!
What else is out? Black? No, black is the new black. Making money on Wall Street? Please. Not even close.
Another reason cliches will never see the pearly gates is because they are constantly changing to keep up with current culture. When all is said and done, I say “carry on cliches!” Carry on because it’s one of the options for brevity. Seriously. Who wants to hear a long drawn out dissertation on how you jumped the gun or flew the coop or broke all the rules? Just do it!
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Choose something you like to do. I know it’s a cliche, and you’ve heard it over and over. But the reason is, you’re going to have to work long and hard to achieve any success. You better like it or life is going to be terrible. -Bill Kurtis#prolepsis#anthypophora
Every cliche about kids is true; they grow up so quickly, you blink and they’re gone, and you have to spend the time with them now. But that’s a joy. -Liam Neeson#absolutes
I don’t believe that old cliche that good things come to those who wait. I think good things come to those who want something so bad they can’t sit still. -Ashton Kutcher#reformcliche
If you want to use a cliche you must take full responsibility for it yourself and not try to fob it off on anon., or on society. -Lewis Thomas
If your mind is at work, we’re in danger of reproducing another cliche. If we can keep our minds out of it and our thoughts out of it, maybe we’ll come up with something original. -Peter Falk
My sound is very smooth. Not to be to cliche, but really sensual and sultry. -Paul Taylor#apophasis
So I think I sometimes will put a cliche in and then just pad it out so you’re not noticing. -Matthew Vaughn
There is a cliche that men want their women to be ladies in public and hookers behind closed doors. I want my woman to be the sharper image robot so that she can be turned off. -Al Goldstein#reformcliche
Any philosophy that can be put “in a nutshell” belongs there. -Sydney J. Harris
I know you want to know who won. People love to know what or who won. They’ll stick around for it. Tease the their curious bone and they’ll act as if you owe them something.
e.g. Top Ten Lists, 2 Times to Make it a Foursome, Bottom 5 Dives, 7 Ways to Get to Heaven, 3 Ways to Meet a woman on a swim team… what!?
Now, you caught the alliteration, maybe. You noticed the rhyme, even. But did you catch the #assonance end of it?
Chances are, you had to take a double take because it caught your attention. Just like the previous sentence where I used #parachesis.
Now, I know the all the Twitter hashtag links (#assonance, #parachesis) currently lead to not much if anything, but eventually they will. They are the dyes that tie colorful language together. BTW, the dye lots may change, but the impression stays the same.
Back to lists, lists and more lists. If you must know now, #1 is a tie: curiosity and how to get there. Ta ta…
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A list is only as strong as its weakest link. -Donald Knuth
An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt. -Fred A. Allen
And I had this big, long list of what I wanted in a guy but I realized I didn’t stack up to the list myself. -Star Jones
Confront your fears, list them, get to know them, and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead. -Jerry Gillies
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. -Robert Orben
For years I’ve kept a list of dream projects. -Michael Bolton
I made this list of stuff that it’s time for me to try to do. -Rick Moody
In all planing you make a list and you set priorities. -Alan Lakein
Laughter is the best medicine – unless you’re diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list. -Jasper Carrott#reformingcliche
My to-do list is so long that it doesn’t have an end; it has an event horizon. -Craig Bruce
We don’t take care of our teachers and our cops and our firemen. They should be at the top of our list. -Brad Garrett
Why can’t somebody give us a list of things that everybody thinks and nobody says, and another list of things that everybody says and nobody thinks. -Oliver Wendell Holmes#inverse#antimetabole
If you say “yes” to everything, everything will drive you crazy. Now, just for clarification, when I say everything, I really mean just all requests of your time and other resources.
This concept isn’t just for business. With children, for example, requests for more Chex Mix get this response from me. “If you eat all your crackers and if you want more, I’ll get you some more if you remember to ask.” It also sounds like a Quid Pro Quo or a I-get-what-I-want-then-you -get-what-you-want. But, that’s not what I’m going for here with this. Manipulative, you say?
What’s more manipulative? Saying you’ll do something, then in your head qualifying it with ”how about never” or “only if you hold a gun to my head” or knowing you’ll forget or get too busy with other things. ’Cause that’s what most people are doing, I’ve noticed.
OR manipulating out in the open? Maybe they don’t catch it and call you out on it. Maybe they do. Maybe, if they do, you restate it with stronger emphasis or stronger tonality. Or, maybe both. The totality of the two will nip the request in the bud faster. Who knows? Test different tactics and see if they will work.
More times than not, though, you’ll find the best way to hide things is to simply hide it out in the open.
Other examples. Make it contingent upon something else happening like, “if we actually go to the conference” ”if I don’t get too busy” “if I still need to at that point” “if you haven’t figured it out by then (Great challenge, by the way. People love them, if they are subtle enough)” “if they call back.” You get the picture.
So, how does this tie back to business. Actually, all of it. Except the part about requesting Chex Mix. Your boss may not appreciate your “sense of humor.”
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A genius knows how to make himself easily understood without being obvious about it. -Jean Anouilh
Recently, my social media coach, Mike, requested (not really, but stated the “can we postpone” firmly by properly framing it, I might add) to reschedule an early morning meeting in light of a more urgent matter. Understandable, as we all have these moments.
I replied with, “No problem. Saturday?” Why? Because “Whatever, Mike” sounded rude when I drafted it. “Sure” sounded lightly salted. I went with “No problem. Saturday?” because I wanted to capitalize on his guilt, immediately, and lock in the next appointment. He’s a very busy man, you see.
He replies to my reply with “Works. U name the time n place (u know my pref:)” Again, illusion of choice, but I close with, “Let’s go with that then.”
Why “Let’s go with that then.”? I love the ambiguity of “that” and “then.” “That” meaning I name the time place, or, his preferential time and place. “Then” meaning “in that case” and also meaning “our usual of 8:30 at Panera U.”
Not to mention the unanswered question he might have, as well, of, “I wonder if we are thinking the same thing?” That’s the funny part. The fact that I think this far into these things should worry me (not you.)
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A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession. -Albert Camus <persuasion is a work of art and certainly a rescheduled appointment will yield a confession, as well.
Every choice you make has an end result. -Zig Ziglar
Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice. -Ayn Rand
Art has a double face, of expression and illusion, just like science has a double face: the reality of error and the phantom of truth. -Publilius Syrus#antapodosis#simile#repeater
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice. -Wayne Dyer
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Of course, there are techniques for reducing them, but when someone cancels or reschedules an appointment with you, thank them. The likelihood of them rescheduling is strong due to their guilt (real or imagined.) The same goes for being stood up for an appointment. Unless they are too rife with guilt or disinterest in the first place, they’ll likely give you special attention. Not only that, but no matter what kind of salesperson you are, you’ll have a better attitude getting on with the rest of your day.
Stolen from Holland, Sales Posse posted a great tool to use in order to reverse engineer.
Ask yourself, “What would (blank) do?”
Sounds a lot like “What Would Jesus Do?” WWJD. I wonder if they know we Americans relate that phrase to Him?
Spend five minutes writing down a few words about the behavior, attitude, and actions of someone you want to emulate and those characteristics will carry over to you.
Would you rather? Have all the questions? Or, have all the answers? Sounds witty and profound doesn’t it?
By Julia Manzerova Julia Manzerova on Flickr.com
