When something happens never, then does, I usually perk up and notice. Only-child syndrome is one of those. However, I’m not talking about it only in the context of an only-child, but we’ll start there.
Ever talk to someone who only has one child about how that child relates to other children?
One set of parents will say, “Little Johnny is an only-child, so, of course, he is going to engage with other children whenever he gets around them.”
Another set of parents will say, “Little Jenny is an only-child, so, of course, she is going to be shy around other children whenever she gets around them.”
Now, this is paraphrasing and simplifying and unfairly categorizing, of course, but that’s an important step in the process of pattern recognition and reverse engineering.
This only-child syndrome that I’m talking about doesn’t just happen with only-child parents, of course. It happens with all kinds of on/off patterns (as opposed to rheostatic-types where the condition is a gradation of the extremities.)
You might recognize this having occurred when someone talks about poker tells, birth order or even someone’s upbringing and the type of person they are. e.g. “Miles grew up with a silver spoon, so, of course, he’s going to demand a higher standard of living for himself.” VS. ”Miles grew up with a silver spoon, so, of course, he’s not going to know how to develop higher standard of living for himself.”
How about sports? “Amy has always been active, so, of course, she’s going to continue the habit when she’s older.” VS. “Amy has always been active, so, of course, she’s going to burn out on the habit when she’s older.”
And on and on.
The overall point being, notice how people organize their experience, give reasons for things, and influence behavior using it.
And, of course, compare it to what’s not there. Meaning, notice what could have been said and wasn’t. This is where you develop pattern recognition. Because there is something driving the decision, and in that context, it can help predict future decisions and behavior.
Most of us recognize these things, naturally, but of course, there are always those who don’t.
As far as which is controlling which, does the pattern control the behavior, or are there really reasons for things, well, that’s one for the chicken and the egg to decide.
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Photo Credit: 
by Sergiu Alistar on Flickr
